Kylie Nielson Turley Wonder of Scripture Lecture

Transcript

I thank you for that lovely introduction. Hopefully, well, I think you'll see that on display today. I should probably just say amen and sit down. So today, my title is Faith in the Real World: Believing As If, Reading As If. A few years ago, I was talking with some friends about the Book of Mormon. And actually, if you know me very well, you know those last five words are not really necessary. Of course, I was talking about the Book of Mormon. What else is there to talk about, really?

So one of my friends indicated that we should not read the Book of Mormon down to the word level. "It's just not possible," she says "to read as if individual words are meaningful." I said, "that has not been my experience." My friend explains what she thought of the translation process, how she thought it worked. Then she cited some authoritative people who agreed, and ended by restating her original opinion that you simply cannot read down to the word level. As mildly as I could, I restated my original statement: That has not been my experience. My acquaintance began again, rather vigorously to explain her position. I figured it was time to slip away. I could see she wasn't suddenly going to ask ""Kylie, what has your experience been with the Book of Mormon?"

To be fair, I should tell you that I find her translation theories fairly persuasive, but not enough to say I am convinced my personal experience is wrong. My study with the Book of Mormon has convinced me time and time again that not only can I study down to the word level? I should. I believe I praise God and His Son, Jesus Christ, who is, of course, named the Word, by reading as carefully and as attentively as I can. Far from falling apart under such scrutiny, the Book of Mormon has instead flourished in amazing and wonderful ways. That is my experience.

My challenge today, which, of course, is a self assigned challenge. The challenge is for my students, is to show you what I have learned about faith from reading the story of King Lamoni, his wife. One of the Book of Mormon's purposes is to show its readers it's messages. As any decent writer of personal stories understands very different thing to show than to tell. In the story of King Lamoni, Ammon praises the Queen's exceeding faith, claiming that there has not been such great faith among all the people of the Nephites. Does anyone else find this statement a little bit confusing. The source is Ammon, yes, Ammon who sees angels who leads missionary expeditions into the land of his enemies and bitter dissenters, and if I had sheep stealing brigand single handedly, is this another example of Ammons enthusiastic hyperbole. Is exceeding faith really the appropriate way to address the sorrow, most likely, the denial of a young widow?

If faith is the question, we typically turn to Alma 32 which is Alma's famous sermon to the Zoramites about seeds and growth of the process of a tree. Alma teaches that “faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things, faith is rather a hope for things which are not seen but which are nevertheless true.” This definition does not seem particularly helpful. Why does exceeding faith have anything to do with seeds or planting or perfect knowledge of things? What things? Any things? Why is Alma saying that faith is not to have a perfect knowledge, rather than to saying faith is not perfect knowledge, especially when he next says, “if you have faith, you need hope for things,” which kind of makes me think I better study the word things again. Anyway, the point is that I feel surprised by Ammon’s comment, especially in light of Alma’s definition. But my surprise may have more to do with the tiny two word phrase, “as if”. When Alma’s definition is connected to “as if” and this narrative, we find faith that is active, rational, agentive and relational, and that faith involves a deliberate choice to act “as if”. If readers do not notice “as if” they're unlikely to see what Alma calls faith, that what Alma calls faith defines precisely what's going on in the Queen's story. Combining “as if,” the story of the Queen and Alma’s definition of faith explains why each of these elements, explains each of these elements better than the discussion of any single one of them. And it does so in a manner that suggests implications for practical, lived faith. The deliberate choice, to act as if allows what is hoped for and to become or to remain real. It explains why more faith will not make more things happen more quickly. What a fleeting thought of doubt has little impact on faith. And why, contrary to what many assume, disbelief, not faith, is regularly a self fulfilling prophecy with the predictable outcome.

The phrase “as if” is used 50 times in the Book of Mormon, and despite its small size, it can carry a heavy load. The phrase can be used for the very statements of disbelief. Think Alicia Silverstone in Clueless, or Isaiah in Isaiah 10:15, and I'm serious. This has got to be the first time that Clueless and Isaiah are used in the same sentence together. “As if” can be used as an intent to deceive or as a way for an honest narrator to explain what another character thinks or feels. It can indicate an interrupted action or heightened dramatic. In this story “as if” is a type of para-narrative communication. It shares something with readers that is beyond the scope of the story. “As” and “if” are excellent words, I love them. Separated as signifies a comparison, a metaphor. If hints of a hypothetical or a consequential phrasing, an “if then” kind of statement. When those two elements are combined, the result is much more potent than the sum of their parts. A combination creates an unreality, or in this statement, in this situation, statement that should not be taken factually.

All that sounds kind of complicated. It's actually rather intuitive. For example, Moroni addresses future readers in Mormon 8:35, stating, “I speak as if you were present and yet ye are not.” Moroni understands “as if”. He's suggesting that if his future readers were standing in front of him, this is a topic about which he would speak and the hostile style in which he would address them. But we are not present. We will never be present. It's not in Mormon's presence. Nevertheless, it's only in his imagination or in his faithful vision of the future that causes his writing topic and his writing style. In other words, something that is unreal, our presence as Moroni’s real audience, impacts something that's absolutely real. The words of Mormon 8, the tiny words “as” and “if”, play out in the same manner. In the Queen's story, there's conditionality or hypotheticality, suggesting by the “if”; if a person dies, he or she will fall to the earth. The metaphoric aspect the “as” suggests that King Lamoni looks as someone looks when they die. Combining those two elements creates something that is unreal. King Lamoni falls to the earth like he's dead, but he's not. Certainly appears to be dead, but again, he is not. Lots of people think he is dead. He lays as if he were dead for the space of two days and two nights, a time frame that readers should notice. Despite appearances, King Lamoni is not dead, something the Queen must wait until Alma 19:12 to discover. Readers, on the other hand, have known this since Alma 18:42- the verse that describes King Lamoni’s “as if” death. When the verse says that the king, King Lamoni, fell unto the earth as if he were dead, the reading audience understands that the king is still alive. Readers who move too quickly may miss the momentousness of this moment, the discrepancy between what the readers know and what the people in the story know is huge. For 13 long verses, modern readers are reading a different story than the queen is living, despite the fact that both of us are moving through the exact same text. The queen is living in the story in which the main conflict is whether the king is alive or dead. Modern readers are engaged in the story about the queen. The question is whether the queen will act in a manner that saves her husband's life. The question about the king was answered before the readers even thought to ask it.

Lamoni’s wife knows her husband looks dead, and for some reason she begins to doubt what her eyes see. She calls for Ammon, believing he may be the prophet of a holy God, the God who gives him power to do mighty works. Ammon tells the queen that her husband is not dead, and then she should not bury him, because on the morrow should be the third day, of course, he will rise again. What should the Queen do?

Am I on the right slide? You're a little ahead, but that's okay, actually you can switch now. Yeah.

From the reader's perspective, the Queen’s most rational choice is obvious, wait for a few days. But waiting a few days is not as simple as it seems. There is no way that the advice will be well accepted in this fractured society. From a practical point of view, bodies decompose, they begin to smell, a reality that is already upsetting to some people in the story. Practical concerns are often supported by social or religious traditions. Fear about disease and cleanliness may give rise to the tradition in ancient Israel, those who have passed away be buried quickly, even the same day as death. If the society in the Nephite times still has remnants or Lamanite times, I guess, still have remnants of ancient Israelite traditions, and they believe that to be unburied was a disgrace, the ultimate disgrace. Moreover, they also believe that any who touch a dead body are rendered unclean for seven days. That means more people are becoming virtually unclean by the day, for every day that the Queen delays.

If the Queen disallows the burial, her actions to be interpreted as dishonoring her husband, violating Mosaic Law, instigating a health hazard and causing multiple people to become ritually impure. The Queen seems aware of the fractures and instability in her society. She's already heard of Ammon, talked to the servants of her husband. She knows what some say, and she knows what others say, and about the status of her husband's body. Actually, she's also aware that these people are quick to assume evil has come upon them and to blame someone. Some ascribe evil to the king because he slew his servants who had their flocks scattered. Others believe evil came upon them because King Lamoni suffered that the Nephite should remain in their land, the group of Lamanites who delighted in the destruction of the brethren and purposely scattered flocks for that intent, were also exceedingly angry with Ammon.

Between weeping and scared servants, bloodthirsty Lamanite outlaws, and those who blame the king for all sorts of various evils, this situation is wildly unpredictable. The explosive political environment, hostile populist, and general uncertainty at a time of grief and mourning make the situation volatile and complex and in choice is going to offend some. Lining with the Nephite is sure to provoke many. This is the situation facing the queen, and it seems almost impossible to untangle, and then we have “as if” confusing the story even more. The queen's situation is politically perilous and perhaps even physically dangerous. Readers may overlook it all, not realizing that the two tiny words conveyed information that changed the story for them. Who then understands that reality and unreality are becoming untangled for the queen? To the readers, readers do not know why the king collapsed, when people inside the story are unaware that there's even a need to ask that question. Cause and effect sequencing are not working correctly. The cause, the death of King Lamoni, is not real. It did not happen. However, the unreal is about to break into this reality. King Lamoni is not dead, but should lead this story to a happy ending, a non burial for a non dead king. But if those who want to bury the king actually do so, they will leave this story with a very unhappy ending, a real burial for a non dead king.

What should be done? In Alma’s theology, the definition of faith, it's to a metaphor about planting seeds and growing a tree. The fulfillment of faith is a mature tree of life that produces fruit that will fill you forever. Having faith is acting in a manner that looks forward to that fruit, namely by planting, tending, nourishing the seed. Alma tells readers that planting a true seed, or a good seed, means not casting it out by their unbelief. Besides equating true with good, Alma says that the knowledge of the goodness of the seed is real, and argues it is real because it is light and it is discernible. It's meaning that all of these words are near synonyms. The high pressure circumstances surrounding Lamoni is as if the queen has a big problem. She does not have perfect knowledge of things, even very important things, such as whether her husband is dead or alive. If she knew what was real or true, she could make her decision easily. The king is dead, she should bury him. He is not dead, she should not. But she lacks perfect knowledge, and that leaves the queen with the choice and a consequence for that choice. The queen can allow the servants to take his body and lay it in the sepulcher. If he's already dead, action will not change anything. But what if he's only “as if” dead, burying him alive will cause his actual death.

This is critical for readers to understand, burying the king's body has one guaranteed outcome; death. Alma’s definition of faith continues to describe the queen's situation. I just understand the queen is willing to hope her husband is alive, even though she has not seen evidence about possibility. The queen's hope is what informs the decisions she must make. The queen has had no witness save Ammon’s word and the word of her servants, but she declares that she will believe as that it shall be, according as thou hast said to Ammon. This is when Ammon declares his great faith, and it is according to Alma’s definition. The queen states her faith in terms of believing what Ammon says, and then she acts in faith when she chooses to watch over the bed of her husband from that time even until the time on the morrow which Ammon had appointed he should rise. It is fortunate for the king that the queen believes what Ammon says. The younger queen's belief in Ammons words allow time for her husband to recover, and thus the queen's faith saves the king's life, sort of, at least, it halts those for assured the king's body, the king's body stinketh and not too placed in the sepulcher. The queen is determined she will wait and watch. She halts the burial and his possible death. It is the queen's belief in her actions that saved Lamoni. Do not raise him from the dead, but they do save him from being killed.

So now we have some implications of this type of faith. While it might appear that faith is patience or magical power, an intense cognitive focus or an emotional connection with deity, tt's not, at least not according to Alma’s definition. In this story, faith is a choice with action. The queen makes a tough decision in an unpredictable situation, and then ensures that her faithful decision is given the time needed to manifest what is real, what is true. The queen stays beside her husband all night, watching the man she loves, possibly watching to protect him as well. In his sermon to the Zoramites, Alma says three times, that nurturing the seed requires patience and diligence and faith. Patience is part of faithfulness, but they're not the same. The queen could sit passively and patiently and simply hope that what she wants will happen. If she does not talk to Ammon, does not choose to believe in, does not communicate what she wants, does not sit beside her husband, then her hope or outcome has very little chance of success. Those people who are more motivated will decide what they think ought to be done. The body of King Lamoni will be buried in the sepulcher by the third day. If the queen simply waits, her husband will end up as dead as some assume he already was.

One implication of the queen's choice is that once she is settled on her faithful and active commitment to non burial, what she thinks will not really matter that much. Random, stray thought, feeling of creeping doubt does not change what is real. The queen must believe enough to act, but forcing herself to pray harder, believe stronger, will not make what is real somehow more real. If she sings hymns all night, talks only about the Book of Mormon, or sits beside her husband, simply waiting and holding his hand. It will not make Lamoni more or less alive. As long as she remains committed to her chosen course of action, Lamoni will rise when he rises. The Queen's thoughts do not alter Israel. It's not unless those thoughts rise to the level of being powerful enough to change her course of action and how she's behaving. Ironically, it is disbelief or lack of faith that has the power to change reality. An unwillingness to believe that King Lamoni is only “as if” dead ensures the worst possible outcome to this story. King Lamoni will be dead after he's buried, even if he was not dead beforehand.

This situation, disbelief will create the very tragedy that the queen and her children are lamenting. If the queen rejects what Ammon has told her, she will alter what is real, run roughshod over what was true and fulfill her own worst nightmare. She could very well cause a situation she desperately hopes is not real. Disbelief in this scenario at least creates a situation in which an unbeliever may never know what is real. If King Lamoni’s wife buries him, how will she ever know with certainty the King Lamoni was dead when he was buried? The King might have been alive or dead, but doubt will hide what is real. In this “as if” story, a lack of faith distorts and hides what is true, even as it changes and ruins what could have been real, takes fear of the unknown and exchanges it for predictability and tragedy. Once Ammon gives his message to the queen, he fades to the background, leaving the queen momentarily in the spotlight. But Ammon’s perspective is unique. When he went in to see the king, according as the queen had desired him, he knew the king was not dead.

Ammon also perceives the thoughts of the king as a portion of that Spirit dwelling in him, and has the knowledge and also the power of God. Despite his God-like perspective, Ammon is overpowered with joy when he sees the queen's choice and the result. Was he surprised? Despite knowing what is real, Ammon seemingly did not know what King Lamoni's wife was going to do. Even with his amazing point of view, Ammon also is living by faith, acting as if the queen will believe, hoping that this woman he barely knows will preserve the life of his friend. When she does, he's overjoyed. It appears that Alma's definition of faith has a hidden aspect. It is relational. When the queen acts as if her husband is alive, she's risking trust in Ammon and his God. That is inherently unpredictable. Trusting in a person means being vulnerable, means opening up oneself to the unpredictable, means opening oneself up also to being hurt or betrayed or let down. Can the queen stand to do this? What if she believes Ammon and then learns that her husband really is dead, just to go through all of the shock and lamenting of those first few days all over again? Faith is not easy. There's no guarantee, but it is not irrational, wishful thinking, either. It's a deliberate choice to trust in a person, to make the decisions based on a relationship. Disbelief or lack of faith is generally described in terms of cognitive thought.

But in these stories, the lack of faith seems to have more to do with distrust. In King Lamoni’s father's parallel story, the queen of all the Lamanites rushes to her husband's side, who, like his son, has collapsed on the ground and appears to be dead. The queen saw him lay as if he were dead, and also Ammon and his brethren standing as though they had been the cause of his fall. The queen clearly believes what she sees with her own eyes and is willing to act quickly upon her own perceptions. Rather than trusting in a person, disbelief tends to rely on self and our own perceptions of what is real. It's predictable, and it can make it, that can make it seem safe, but the price for that safety is high. Disbelief leads to certain tragedy and certain pain. Certainty of the outcome may be what many of us want, and we want it so much that we tend to work backwards. We assume that someone had faith if the outcome was positive, but if faith is acting as if it's not dependent on the outcome, it's the belief inspired action that is faithful. The outcome is not our business. We do not decide what is real or true. In these situations, God does. The young queen acted faithfully, extending trust in Ammon’s words, not knowing what was true, and acting to ensure that her faithful choice was enacted. It seems important to note that even if the action of faith uncovers a reality that the seed is not good and should be cast away, or that the king is dead and ought to be buried, after all, does not change the fact that the Queen acted in faith. Her choices allowed what was true to manifest itself, to become discernible, but her responsibility is only to act faithfully.

Faith is difficult in any person, even a queen with exceeding faith may doubt, but faithful action is strong. Some people may worry that they will sabotage what they most want. If they wonder a little bit or question, what if a thought of doubt flips across the stage of their minds, did they destroy what they wanted? In Alma’s faith model, a random thought of doubt does not unplant a seed, does not, a moment of questioning does not move a king's body from his bed to a sepulcher. Thoughts and beliefs absolutely matter, but until thoughts rise to the level of action, they don't change faithful action. In Alma’s definition of faith, there's a critical question. Is this definition of faith, as understood through the as if decision making process, transferable to other faith filled necessitating situations? Perhaps. In the last chapter of the Book of Mormon, Moroni exhorts readers to ask if these things are not true. This phrasing is why many people pray to know if the Book of Mormon is true, and then wait for a witness from the Holy Ghost to know.

I have nothing against that process, no reason to doubt the experience of others. It just did not work for me. I prayed and prayed and prayed on multiple occasions, for various lengths of time in my closet, at the church, out in nature, I never felt like I received an answer. It's not in the way that other people do. One of my sisters noted this “not” phrasing some years ago and asked me, “Is God really sitting up in his heaven not answering heartfelt prayers because of a slight wording issue?” My answer then and now is, I don't know, but I do know that Alma says faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things. I also know that Alma says that there are many people who say “thou wilt show unto us a sign from heaven. Then we shall know of a surety, and then we shall believe.” I'm afraid that's exactly what I wanted God to do for me. I wanted to know the Book of Mormon was true so that then I could believe it was. I wanted proof of reality before I committed to trying anything. I wanted to see and to know beforehand so that I would not be disappointed.

That is not how faith works. It's not according to Alma. I warn you that I might be wrong. I guess I probably should have told you that at the beginning, right? When Moroni tells readers to ask if these things are not true, he might be using the phrasing rhetorically, as if he were exclaiming, “how could these things not be true?” Another scholar suggests that this phrasing should be a “negative if” clause, which then implies that things are indeed true. But what if Moroni means exactly what he says? What would it look like to see Moroni’s proposition in light of Alma’s “as if” model of faith? Moroni 6 suggests that we ask God if the Book of Mormon is not true. Like the queen, we're stuck in the middle without a perfect knowledge regarding this book. Perhaps we should strip away the clutter and consider where that leaves us. If God did not mercifully bring this book into your life, what should you do? If this is not a book from God, a reasonable reaction might be, throw it in the trash or the recycle bin and move on. Actually, don't. I'll take it for you guys. Don't. Don't throw them in the trash. Why would you waste so much time and effort on something that is not true. But similar to the queen's decision, this comes with a warning, if you throw it in the trash, the Book of Mormon becomes trash to you. The book is dead, and that is all it can ever be for you. The result is predictable, guaranteed and oh so secure.

But at what price? Are you willing to risk faith instead? Choosing faith does not guarantee the outcome. Faith is choosing to believe that the Book of Mormon is not not true. What then? If the seedling, if the Book of Mormon is not not true, then plant the seed or two. Maybe try watering the seed, putting the seedling out in the right amount of sunlight. And putting appropriate nutrients into the soil. What does the Alma seed metaphor mean about the Book of Mormon? Well, first, this is metaphoric or symbolic language. We should not take it literally. Don't go planting your Book of Mormon in your front planters. I don't think it will grow other copies. The metaphor means we should try out the word of God, following, following what we learned from the queen means choice, and then action. It means reading your scriptures, studying and gaining insight, trying to understand this book and then live by its teachings and principles that you've been inspired to understand. Alma's metaphoric experiment does not grow a bean plant. Despite all those fabulous primary lessons that we've all been to, it grows a tree. This is important for many reasons. How long does it take to grow a tree? I don't know, but I do know that Alma's definition of faith requires some amount of time. Moreover, we must note that the seed becomes a tree. Trees are living, not dead. Faith leads to life.

For some of us, the truth of the Book of Mormon is discovered and also made manifest in our lives, in the living. We discover that we live whether the Book of Mormon is true or good or light or real. But this option is uncertain, unlike perfect knowledge, the Book of Mormon may still end up being something other than true, but at least there's the opportunity to discover that reality. Acting as if the Book of Mormon is true means planting a seed and experimenting. Will the seed grow a tree? Maybe, maybe not. But there is another way, you could not plant a seed, but be aware that not planting leads to one sure outcome: there will not be a tree, there will not be life. The use of “as if” can be overlooked by readers, and the qwueen does not have access to the words at all, but she cares immensely about whether her husband is dead or “as if” dead. The queen's grief at Lamoni’s is passing, her refusal to leave his side, and their mutual joy at his revival, make this the most loving husband and wife relationship in the Book of Mormon, indeed, even before he was fully standing King Lamoni, stretched forth his hand unto his beloved wife, praising God and this woman of exceeding faith. He testifies of Jesus Christ, swearing on the life of his beloved wife that he has seen his Redeemer, that his Redeemer shall rise again and redeem all. The queen reaped the rewards of her faith, her diligence and her patience and her long suffering and her waiting. That is a good ending, a miraculous end. But those of us who read a different story for 13 verses need a different miracle. We cannot let the outcome be mistaken for the message. Our miracle is the process and the story. We need to believe as if we were the queen of the Lamanites. We are not her. We will never be her. Despite extreme pressures from within and without, she chose to believe Ammon. We can too. Then she acted on her choice, watching and waiting beside the body of the man she adored. She watched all night for signs of life.

I imagine that each woman felt as if it were…she watched for all night for signs of life. I imagine each moment felt as if it were an eternity. This is not fun. Excuse me. This is part of the hazards of living real life, you have blood. All right, we're going to back up just a tiny bit.

I read the Book of Mormon as if words matter. There's no guarantee that they do. If I want certainty, I know where it is. If I understand what Alma’s saying and what this story is saying, then I don't want that certainty anymore. I want the less certain, the more vulnerable, the risky way. I want faith. I want to continue planting my little words, even if they're as tiny as a mustard seed. And I want to study as if the words will grow. In my experience, they do, time and time again. I've planted the words of God and worked and watched–they grow. That is why I care about the words of this book and then I bind life.