Heather Chesnut Wonder of Scripture Lecture

Transcript

Thank you for that wonderful introduction. It was an absolute pleasure to work with Mr. Davis these past years and to get to know him. What a wonderful institution the Maxwell Institute is. Today I'm going to speak about a map for spiritual progression. Following it makes life better right away and over time, it makes life extraordinary. This map, as you can see, is set out by the apostle Peter in 2 Peter 1:5-7 “giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.” The great thing about following this map is that it does not matter where you start. You can be a student, or you can be retired. You can have a prestigious job, or you can have a humble one. You can have trouble in your family, or you can be in a familial Golden Era. You can have many friends, or you can have a precious few. You can be mired in trouble, or you can be struggling with hope. But wherever you start, if you begin this journey, life climbs upward. I want to share how I started this journey in the hope that it will be of some assistance to you in your own journeys.

In the year 2000, I was 30 years old and I had just divorced. I was a single mother of three small sons. They were ages six, three, and one. My sons have always been an incredible blessing, but back then, the practical troubles of being a single mother loomed large, and it became clear that I had to go back to work full time to financially support us. I was lucky, because I had a law degree and several job offers. They were all in very different areas of the law. There was a job offer in international stock trading in Spain, there was a corporate law offer, and there was an offer as a criminal defense attorney. The offer as a criminal defense attorney was not lucrative or appealing, but it had good benefits, so I didn't cut it from the list right away. At the time, my bishop had recommended that I read the New Testament, the words of the Savior himself, as I struggled with the practical problems of being a single mother and I came across this very beloved scripture, Matthew 25:35-36 “For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison. I was in prison, and ye came unto me." When I read those words, I felt the Spirit of God, and I felt deeply impressed to take the job as a criminal defense attorney. I ended up working at that job for the next 18 years. There were a lot of challenges as I worked with many people in their darkest hour, I was privileged to see some great acts of courage and change, and it was the place of much of my own spiritual progression.

Sometime during the early days of being a single working mother, something happened. I abandoned the idea that I could be a model member of the church. There were several reasons for that. One is I had a failed marriage. Another one was I had no time for a ward calling or even making friends in the new ward where I had moved because I would not leave my children at nights or on weekends because of working all day. And also, I was working as a criminal defense attorney. I defended people charged with crimes like robbery and assault. And also, I was a specialized type of criminal defense attorney called a public defender. That's a type of attorney who represents people who have no money. So in other words, I was working with people at the bottom of the heap. None of this seemed like the stuff that would make me a model member. The crazy thing is that was when real spiritual progress started in my life. Maybe it was because I didn't have the time or the heart anymore to worry about what other people thought I should be. In fact, I had a wonderful stake president at the time, President Jorge Becerra, who put it well, he said, You have to get to the point that you don't care what the world thinks, and you don't care what the ward thinks. And I was there also because of the tremendous pressures on me working and taking care of the children, everything I did had to have a lot of practical value, and that included prayer and scripture reading. So I gravitated towards scriptures that I understood and that gave me badly needed guidance and comfort, and in these I found simple truths. God was waiting for me to seek Him. This is a world of troubles, and I wasn't alone in having them. Forgiving others made me, gave me less to hurt about and a happier heart, maybe most importantly, because of my difficulties, I was desperate for help from the Lord, and I ran to him in my heart, perhaps that is the most essential ingredient to truly finding him in the scriptures.

At first, I didn't recognize the journey I had started, but as the years went by, I came across the verses from Peter showing the ascending attributes of faith, virtue, temperance, patience, godliness, brotherly, kindness and charity. And in these I recognize my own journey. As has been mentioned, I was recently privileged to publish a book with the Maxwell institute called Council Please Rise and it is about my experiences in these eight areas. In fact, it is my testimony. And today I'm going to focus on just three of those areas that I talk about in the book, and I'm going to focus on patience. So I'm very grateful for the introduction that I had, and also godliness and brotherly kindness.

First patience, I have heard many spiritually advanced people say that patience is not just waiting for a problem or adversity to end, it is continuing in faith and good works as we wait for the hand of the Lord and His blessings to be revealed. In the early days. As a single working mother, I came across this from the Apostle Paul Romans 5:3-5 “we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given to us.” When I read this, it felt like a beam of light in the dark. I did not have to be devastated because of my problems. I could even glory in them. And why is that? That is because tribulations, when combined with patience and the unfolding experience, are tied to hope and to the love of God Himself, which is the most desirable of all things. Patience was indispensable in my work as a public defender, and I saw miracles because of it. Here's a wonderful painting by artist Neva Harrison of me being a public defender.

I want to describe a little bit about what it's like to be a public defender when someone is charged with a crime and can't afford an attorney, a judge appoints a public defender to represent the person. When I was appointed, I would meet with my client in the jail or in the prison, and then I would represent his interests in court. This could involve negotiating with the prosecutor about what should happen in the case or about the legality of evidence, or it could involve going to trial. Over the years, I handled every type of criminal case, many times: drunk driving, thefts and fraud, assaults of all types, sex crimes and homicides. Defending people charged with these crimes is necessary work. It's necessary to avoid wrongful convictions and to avoid the violation of rights and to avoid sentencings that go beyond what is allowed by law, because of the high emotions that run with these types of cases, although it's necessary, many tribulations come with those who do this work. For one thing, this is not popular work. There were times I felt heavy disapproval from everyone in the courtroom, many times. And this is a tribulation. There's frustration that comes with this work. It's difficult to know sometimes how to help someone who has come to a place in their life where they are charged with a crime, and likely have even committed the crime. And sometimes my own clients would undercut my efforts by leaving a rehabilitation program I had spent months setting up for them, or by committing another crime after I had argued that they should be released from jail. Often they did not make me look good.

There was also danger with the job, as I worked with accused and convicted felons. But in all of these tribulations, disapproval, frustration and even danger, patience was required, and it was difficult at times. But as I did my best to be patient, I began to see the hand of the Lord. Once I had a client who was going to be sentenced for a very serious crime, and I was at a loss of what to say at his sentencing or what to do to help him. In my mind, something that did not come from me, I saw a course of action outlined to me that involved preparing a special report about a very difficult challenge he had had in his life. And I retained an expert to make a report about this, and I submitted it to the judge, and my client got a better sentence than what was expected. Another time, I had a client who I could sense was a real danger to me. I prayed about the problem and felt good about it, but I did not know how it was going to work out. The next morning, a colleague came into my office, and he was at his wits end. He was having trouble with one of his own clients. I talked to him about some things he might do that would help with his problem with the client, but he was at the end of the rope. He suggested a client exchange. He offered that if I would agree to exchange representation with his client he was having trouble with, that he would exchange a client with me. I told him about my client who was dangerous to me, and he said the client wasn't dangerous to him. And we agreed to the exchange and did the necessary paperwork, and both clients were represented appropriately, and it, and safety was obtained. And I was very, very grateful for the hand of the Lord in this matter. As I saw these things and many other things like it unfold, my patience grew. I could work better in disapproval and frustration and even danger, because I knew that the Lord was with me and that he would assist me. In fact, in time, these things stopped being tribulations at all.

One of the greatest things I ever saw in the courtroom was a patience phenomenon. What that is, is on occasion, a large number of people would be moved to act with faith, faith and patience in a way that would change the course of a life. This happened when I represented a client. I called Andy, and I tell his story with permission. I was assigned to represent Andy when he was charged with burglary. Andy was in his early 20s. He and three other people had planned an armed burglary of a store, and they did it really badly, and they blundered their way through it, and they were caught, and there was a mountain of evidence against Andy, and there was not very much I could do. The inevitable course of events in this type of situation is that Andy would spend time in jail while his case works through the system, then he would be convicted, either by entering a guilty plea or by being found guilty at trial, then he would be sentenced to a lot of jail time with a heavy probation after or he would go to prison. The first time I met Andy, he had been brought into the courthouse and was waiting for me in the holding cell of the courtroom in his jail suit and handcuffs. After visiting with him, I came back out into the courtroom, and I saw a very sad man sitting in the audience. It was Andy's dad. Andy’s parents were heart broken. In their grief and need, they had reached out to neighborhood friends and ward members, many working together, had arranged an opportunity for Andy to go to Alaska for the summer with some young adults from his neighborhood. They would all be employed at a fishing resort. It would be hard work. They would get up early. They would clean the fish for guests. They would maintain the equipment. They would do cooking and cleaning and keep everything in repair, they would work long, hard days. Andy's dad felt that getting Andy away from the bad influences in the area was the only way to change the course of his life. I was skeptical. This sounded like something that would have worked long before we got to this point, and I did not. I knew the prosecutor wouldn't agree, and I knew that the judge probably wouldn't agree, and I explained that to Andy's family. It's very, it's not only uncommon, it's really unheard of that a judge allows an accused felon to leave the state. But they had documentation from the friends who agreed to go with him, and from the lodge owner who agreed not only to employ him, but agreed to report back to the judge if Andy drank or used drugs or stole or did anything else that the lodge owner didn't like. So I agreed to present it to the judge. Before doing that, I spoke with Andy about this.

In this world of crime dramas and real time crime shows, we kind of forget that it is real human beings who are at the bottom of these things. When someone is arrested for a crime, they're taken to jail, or they're released from jail with very strict rules, and they wait weeks or months or years to see what is going to happen with them. It is extremely stressful for the people who are in this situation. And just a footnote. In all these years, I saw that patience made a huge difference in people in these situations of being charged with crimes. If a person charged with a crime has patience, he's open to what will help him, like a rehabilitation program. If he has patience, he has the grit to wait all the time through many court hearings to see what's going to happen to him, and in the end, his case comes out better. If a person does not have patience, he lashes out in the courtroom. He says things that are not helpful to his case, and the judge is not inclined to release him, and if he is released in the stress and lack of patience with the situation. Often, they will behave in a way that makes their situation worse, like committing further crimes. Andy was patient. If he hadn't been this plan never would have even been tried. Somehow, it touched something in the judge, and the judge agreed to this release, but he gave him a stern admonition. He said, If you come, if you, if you don't do well in this, in this work with the lodge, or if you don't come back to court in September, after the summer is over, you will have proved to me that you belong in prison, and that is exactly where I will send you. All summer I thought about Andy and hoped he was doing well. I didn't hear anything, which I took as a good sign. That September on Andy's court date, I came into the courtroom to see him sitting with his dad in a shirt and tie, and when I saw both of them, I knew that the summer had gone well. We presented a glowing letter from the resort owner to the judge, Andy entered a reduced plea and was released to probation. A few years later, I was thrilled to receive a letter from his parents describing the full, happy life Andy was living. In fact, he was even working for someone who had been a guest at the lodge that summer in Alaska. The guest had been impressed with Andy's work ethic, and after his court date, had offered Andy employment, and Andy had built a good career and a family.

One thing that has surprised me about patience is how closely it is linked to confidence. Over the years, I saw that when you have patience to persevere in adverse circumstances, you will eventually see the hand of the Lord, and you will even see miracles or reasons for adversities that really amaze you. Then your confidence no longer depends on favorable things happening to you all the time. You're stronger and you're more resilient and you're more powerful. I think that's why the Apostle Paul said, “Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompense of reward, for ye have need of patience that after you have done the will of God, you might receive the promise.”

Next I'm going to talk about godliness. Peter places godliness as one of the more advanced attributes on the map of Christian progress, and for good reason. Often godliness grows because of difficult challenges. But as with all things, the rewards exceed the difficulties. When I came across godliness as a Christian attribute, I wasn't sure what it meant, so I wrote a letter to my father, who still prefers receiving paper letters in the mailbox, and he wrote back. He wrote that “godliness is divine focus, the Savior stood alone suffering to pay the price of sins of all to make repentance possible.” He said, “with such an example of sacrifice, how is it possible that any follower of the Lord would not also be willing to sacrifice for the work of the Lord or those in need?” My father said, “godliness, then, is choosing to act in each circumstance of life as both the Father and the Son would act if they had the same choice.” He said, “We should especially be ready to sacrifice, forgive and show compassion for others.”

I had a significant challenge that became a crucible for progressing in godliness, and it was being cyber bullied. When I was cyber bullied, it involved more than being called names online or even being threatened. It was a sustained effort over several years to harm me, personally and professionally, and it was related to my work as a criminal defense attorney, the cyber bully incited a cyber mob to come after me. I had never experienced anything like that, and I felt real fear. I want to say a word about fear. It is one of the most powerful tools of the adversary, and it is prevalent in the world right now. With fear the adversary can paralyze you and can keep you from doing the Lord's work, and can keep you from doing the things that will bring God's blessings to you. Many prophets talking about our day have foreseen this, and there are many admonitions to fear not in the Book of Mormon and Doctrine and Covenants, and over the years, I referred many times to my favorites. Like this one, “Therefore, fear not, little flock; do good; let earth and hell combine against you, for if you are built upon my rock, they cannot prevail. Behold, I do not condemn you; go your ways and sin no more; perform with soberness the work which I have commanded you. Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.”

When I was cyber bullied, and I will note it began the very week I began work on this book, Council Please Rise, which is my testimony. As I wrote the book, whenever a significant event happened, like the initial writing or beginning a new round of edits, or when it was being considered for publication, the cyber bullying worsened. It ended when everything was completed and publication was scheduled. I've heard of other stories like this, especially missionaries who are thinking of going into the field, and some of the adversities they sometimes face. Fear is a great weapon of the adversary, and he will certainly use it to try to prevent you from doing things, like bearing your testimony, that focus on the Savior.

But back to when the cyberbullying first started. When I felt fear, I did what I've become accustomed to. When I feel fear, I turned to the Lord. In fact, I have a darkness protocol that involves scriptures, prayers, blessings, fasting, family, friends, music and playing tennis. I recommend a darkness protocol because if you think it out beforehand, you're ready to do it when you need it. It helps if you think about it like a space show, right? Implement darkness protocol. That helps a lot. Once my fear was subdued, I was able to consider the problem and take safety measures. I consulted someone who was experienced in cyber security and took steps to modify my online presence, and that took away a source of pressure. I also took some security steps at the recommendation of law enforcement. But although these steps were necessary, the real task at hand, and the one that restored my peace and even caused me to thrive in the circumstance was progressing in the attribute of godliness. This began after I remembered my dad's letter. He said that “godliness is choosing to act in each circumstance of our life as the Father and Son would act if they had the same choice.” I knew where to go to find a description of how the Father and Son would act. “Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor and hate thine enemy, but I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you.” I had always loved these beautiful words, but now I had a real enemy who was working to harm me. The difficulty of living this teaching loomed large, and it was a mountain I did not think I could climb.

A lot of questions came to my mind, how could I love, bless, or pray for someone who wished only to maliciously hurt. Do the Savior's words mean my safety doesn't matter? What about my family's safety? But having done all I could to secure my safety, I had to commit this to the hands of the Lord and I began to see that being cyber bullied was not so much a danger as a test. And then different questions came to my mind. Would I follow the Savior even when I was afraid or when I didn't understand how it would do any good? Would I prioritize following Him above earthly concerns? Eventually, a thought planted itself in my heart, I would follow the Savior, regardless of the cost or the consequences in this matter.

The first time I prayed for my cyber bully took great effort, but I prayed for him sincerely, even if it was unenthusiastic. A few days later, I prayed for him again and then again. As the weeks went by, it became easier, and soon I was filled with the Spirit of God when I prayed for him. That spirit filled me with happiness and peace more than all of the previous steps that I had taken. I understood more deeply the Savior and His experiences of false accusation and persecution and betrayal, and I understood more deeply His profound love. As time went by, the cyber bullying continued. I also continued my efforts to follow the Savior, and I turned my attention to His teachings on forgiveness. I read many scriptures about forgiveness, and wanted to forgive, but it was when I read this simple scripture that I actually made progress in doing that. “I the Lord will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.” When I read this in the frame of mind of wanting to forgive but not feeling able, this scripture took the pressure off. I didn't have to wonder if I should forgive or if my enemy deserved it, or if it would make anything worse. It was commanded by the Lord, and if I was a disciple of Jesus Christ, I would forgive. Sometimes it is difficult to make decisions like that because of it feeling like such a directive. What about our agency? But in a situation where you have the desire to do that, being worded as a commandment helps you to get over that hurdle, and it helped me. And I, as I began to accomplish forgiveness, the love of God that I felt showering down upon me was unlike anything I can describe, the most wonderful, desirable thing imaginable. I could feel how loved I was, and it changed my communion with God. Only in this a personal Gethsemane, could I have had such experiences.

The last thing I'm going to talk about is brotherly kindness. It's one of the most advanced spiritual attributes, coming in second only to charity on the hierarchy of spiritual advancement talked about by the apostle Peter. Some New Testament scholars interpret brotherly kindness as mutual affection or family affection or kinship affection. Giving it and receiving it is the great prize of life, and at its core, it's a love that is selfless and resilient and even magnificent.

Because I had three sons, I was privileged to see firsthand how brothers love each other, and two of them are here today. I had one of them covered in mud after a mud fight, but decided on this one. I wrote a little bit about the love of brothers in my book. And of course, it doesn't just mean brothers, this attribute is any relationship, but because I had sons, this readily came to mind. Brothers work together. They build forts from blankets, cushions and chairs, and they build tree houses of questionable stability, but they also build bike jumps that are so stable it takes hours and hours to clean them up. They organize bike races down stony steep hills to see who can navigate the danger without getting injured. They establish a jumping order off the house to the trampoline based on strongest to weakest athletic ability. In the process, they concentrate intently and argue a lot, and they do some pushing and shoving, and they work out solutions. They enthusiastically employ each other's strengths to accomplish their goals, but they accept each other's weaknesses, even though they sometimes address them very frankly. They love each other in these ways. They stick together, work through difficulties, forgive quickly and signal their love with a smile, fist bump, or low key but sincere compliment. Low key but sincere compliment, I recently learned from my daughter, who's younger than all of her brothers, that low key means sincere. This is a new development that I didn't know when I wrote this in the book. I thought low key in my generation means something pretty subtle. Brothers waste no time with empty gestures or passing courtesies when they serve each other, it is in ways that matter. Their bonds last a lifetime. Their affection for each other may wane during the passing phases of life, but it resurfaces with strength over and over again.

As I progressed in the Christian virtues described by Peter, I became better at brotherly kindness or kinship, affection or love, and my opportunities to build strong family bonds and fine, true friends and even a lifelong, eternal, long companionship greatly increased. Of course, I allude to getting married. I was blessed with a second opportunity for marriage after my first marriage ended in divorce, I wasn't sure about a second marriage. I wasn't sure if it would be fair to my sons or to a husband, but I met a man who personifies the kinship affection talked about by Peter. With Lee, once you are his friend, it is for life. He's said to be rough around the edges, and you'll see why when I talk about how I met him, but his qualities of loyalty and integrity have been a blessing to me and my family all of these years. And this is where I met him, at the Salt Lake County Jail. Neither one of us was an inmate at the jail. We were both working there. Salt Lake County had decided to do some hearings from the jail using video conference equipment, and that was safer and cheaper than transporting every inmate to the courthouse every time there was a hearing. I was assigned to go to the jail and represent these inmates during these hearings and Lee Chesnut was a corrections officer helping with the hearings. Give brotherly kindness a chance and kinship affection because of this: the first time I met Lee, it didn't go well. I was new to the process. There was a huge room of all kinds of inmates that I had to talk to and get in front of the judge, and I took a long time to do it. So then video court was late, and then it ended late, and the jail officers missed their lunch, and Lee Chesnut complained about me to my office. I did not have a high opinion of that. He should have been more patient. But life went on, and I got a better handle on the task, and I got faster and did the job better. And soon we were talking and we were friends, and he invited my sons and I to go white water rafting on the Salmon River, where he worked as a guide from time to time, and my sons loved him, and in time I did too, and we married in the Manti temple.

Marriage is the basis for the richest blessings of the eternities, and married couples who meet certain conditions have the greatest blessings that are in store. God has said, “and they shall pass by the angels, and the gods, which are set there, to their exaltation and glory in all things, as hath been sealed upon their heads, which glory shall be a fullness and a continuation of the seeds forever and ever.” I do not understand all the implications of that, but I understand enough to know that the blessings beyond what we can imagine now await those who progress in kinship, affection or love to the point of entering marriage covenants and family covenants with the Lord, and then continuing with those covenants and progressing in family and kinship, affection, and it is central to all descriptions of the greatest blessings that are in store.

In conclusion, when he set out the map for progress, the Apostle Peter also spoke of great and precious promises and becoming partakers of the divine nature. Through the years, more and more of the marvels of the Lord have opened before me and I have had experiences I could not have imagined. As for the parts of the road that are hard, I have come to understand a little of how the apostle Peter felt when all those centuries ago, many disciples not walked no more with Jesus because of being offended, as John records. “Then Jesus said unto the 12, Will ye also go away? And Simon Peter answered, saying, Lord, whom shall we go to? Thou hast the words of eternal life?” When he said this, Peter had yet to experience the horrifying events of the betrayal, trial and crucifixion of Jesus. He had yet to experience the profound wonder of the resurrection and the gift of the Holy Ghost. He was yet to experience all that would happen as he stood as the Lord's servant in leading his church here on the earth. It was after experiencing these things that Peter observed that the Christian values that he talks about cause a person to abound in the knowledge of Christ and be able to see afar off and remember being forgiven of old sins, and in fact, he says this path will eventually lead to making your calling and election sure in which you will gain eternal exaltation. It is my testimony that this path will lead you to places of testing so that there can be growth in the attributes that will prepare you for the richest blessings our Father has in store. And if we prove worthy, we can enter into His presence again. As one of my clients once wrote to me from the Utah State Prison, “May we meet again at his feet.” And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.